Tanya.
20th March

The scent of fresh daisies in the morning spreads through her still-frozen window waking her up from her REM sleep.

She feels slightly light-headed, contemplating if she would stay home yet another day, just as she used to. But at the moment, her heart feels different. She’s ready now.

She stares at the curtains dancing gracefully with the west wind, then she remembers. It’s the first day of spring. As she gets out of bed, her toes shiver faintly as they touch the cold tiled floor. She has learned to accept the fact that there would still be a little coldness left, but she’s certain now that she has to welcome the warmth awaiting.

Enliven by the thought, she hurries downstairs to see at last the beautiful landscape of growing buds and florets. With a sudden surge of excitement, she finally decided to unlock her front door. It’s been a while since she hid the key to her freedom. Once again, she’s ready now.

With eyes closed (just for a pinch of surprise), she opens the door and the warm rays of the sun gently kiss her skin, flushing her face as she inhales the refreshing breath of sunrise dew. As her eyes open, life has begun. She marvels at the radiant smiles of the forgotten flowers she left back in winter. Blossoming trees and sprouting leaves joyfully wave at her like young children gaping in amusement as they finally see their long-lost mother.

With tears held back from behind her growing lashes, she smiles back, leisurely glancing through every piece of this humbling grandeur – that is, this paradise before her eyes. She couldn’t even fathom how such pretty shades come out from the bitter cold, for a few months back all was just plain black and white.

Some things are missing, some have died. Yet many grew back, and much has been added. Strong stems have evolved from the very ground where the once-taunted roots were planted.

Even the snowflakes might have fertilized the ground.

In her months of solitude, she realized that loss is just a presage of a promised gain.

With all the strength left, and the courage she earned from having to face the everyday life of brokenness and pain, she now decides to move on and lose grip of the bitter thread that pulls her back to her grief-painted walls. She now understands that her buried grudges and hidden pain she tried to suppress for so long, came to be the sharp heavy rocks that bruised her all the more. Before she knew the truth that would set her free, she was forced to close her heart from seeing and receiving.

The sound of the wind chimes above her blush-colored sofa bed echoes along with the dawn chorus of the bluebirds rejoicing, traversing her into a bewildering sense of serenity. For so long she was wrapped around her thin old blanket, sipping lukewarm roasted coffee, craving for temporary ease and comfort. And for the first time in her entire life, she didn’t need her blanket anymore.

For a new season has come. In full sunlight, she glows from within.

Confidently she moves her bare feet, and bravely walks towards the aisle of forgiveness, now shutting the gates of her past yet holding on to the sweet memory of her breakthrough which will forever remain a relic inside her mind.

Savoring the precious moment of her debut, as carefree as a feather in the wind, she lets go of it all.

(an allegory of forgiveness)