“And yet, I am the God who forgives your sins, and I do this because of who I am. I will not hold your sins against you.”

Isaiah 43:25

I have been binge-watching this series on Netflix about the story of Jesus’ disciples after His death and resurrection. They were given the Holy Spirit to go into all the world and preach the Gospel and through the course of their mission they were pursued by the unbelievers and were brutally persecuted. But even though they suffered at the hands of their enemies, nothing ever stopped them from fulfilling their mission and calling, and still, they bravely proclaimed the Good News to everyone. But before this grandiose scene of courage, a lot had happened before Jesus’ death. His disciples’ loyalty and faith were greatly tested as they witnessed, right before their eyes, how Jesus was murdered and nailed to a cross to bear the sins of the world.

Two of Jesus’ disciples were in the spotlight the night of His death – Peter and Judas. These two have totally different stories yet they share one common thing that sheds light on a piece of history: betrayal. We all know how their stories went – Judas betrayed Christ for 30 pieces of silver and had him arrested. On the other hand, Peter, the one with the strongest conviction that he will be with Jesus until the end, betrayed Him by denying Him three times. One night. Two betrayals.

In the darkest moments of Jesus’ life, two of His disciples failed Him. Yes, we can feel the burden of this dark hour, but what has made an impact on the history of Christianity and Discipleship is the way these two disciples responded after each failure.

Failure has been a huge part of our lives as human beings. We cannot deny the fact that we stumble and fall a thousand times. Yes, you might have made a lot of mistakes in the past that you’re not really proud of, but that doesn’t mean that your value decreased. That doesn’t mean that you become and remain less of a person. What these two stories teach us is that failure isn’t the end of everything, but the decision is yours to make.

Judas, consumed by his guilt and remorse, decided to hang himself after committing his greatest failure. He ended his life. He hasn’t had the chance to experience the gift of forgiveness and salvation because he chose for himself to die instead. He took his life into his own hands. Yes, there is hope, but how can hope be seen by those who deliberately choose to shut their eyes? Deciding to end your life (literally and figuratively) can hinder you from receiving the greatest blessings that are coming your way. Maybe you have these multiple layers of mistakes and failures dumped inside your heart, forcefully driving you to feel less about yourself but God never looked at you the same way you look at yourself now. Your worth is never based on your past mistakes, but in the future God has prepared for you. And the greatest mistake we can ever make is to let our past dictate our future. If we allow the shadow of the past to consume us, we can never move forward to the future God has prepared for us.

This gift of redemption was experienced by Peter. He knew what he did and his heart was crushed. Covered in shame and despair, he mourned and grieved after realizing that he failed Jesus. In the Scriptures, we can read that Peter cried bitterly, which Bible scholars refer to as his act of repentance. Peter didn’t take his life. He didn’t hang himself in a tree. He decided to continue his life, move forward, and let go of his guilt. And truly, he was given what he had hoped for — forgiveness. This was a decision made by Peter – to repent, leave his past behind and move forward.

But as days passed, Peter went back to fishing. From being the strongest disciple, he went back to his old life. He was called to be a disciple and Jesus told him that he will do great things in the Kingdom of God, but he went back to his past life as fishermen. This illustrates that when we feel guilt and we constantly meditate on the bad things we did in the past, we will slowly leave our calling and go back to our old self. But what’s overwhelming here is, when Jesus resurrected, He showed himself to Peter. (John Chapter 21) He even cooked breakfast for him. Just look at the love and grace of Christ. Right after he resurrected, he searched for Peter just to assure him that he is already forgiven.

After breakfast, He spoke to Peter personally and asked him three times, “Peter, do you love me?” Three times. In the same manner, Peter denied Him – three times. What does Jesus want to show Peter? What does this scene depict? As I meditate on this, I can just imagine Jesus telling Peter, “You denied me three times, and I forgive you three times as well.” It’s like Jesus wants Peter to realize that he has now been forgiven and restored. He had the opportunity to change his life, finally let go of his past, and move on to a new beginning. Peter was given a special encounter with Christ because that’s how much Jesus loves him. That even if he denied him and messed up so many times, Jesus told him that he’s forgiven and he has a calling and purpose. Jesus even encouraged him that time because he knows that Peter will one day become one of the pillars of the church. Peter will do great things.

This is what God wants to tell you now too: that no matter how many times you fail, He will always be there to get you back up. He wants you to know that your mistakes do not define who you are, but what defines you is His unconditional love for you – the kind of love that drives out all fears, doubts, and worries; the kind of love that can restore your heart, no matter how many times it’s been broken; the kind of love that can turn a messy life into a beautiful masterpiece; and the kind of love that will choose you, over and over again. He loves you so much that He has and will always, without a doubt, forgive you for your sins and give you a new life with Him.

Peter is the failure, and Jesus is the forgiveness.
Peter met Jesus once again, and he was forgiven.
After Peter was restored, he became one of the greatest apostles in the Bible who led thousands of people to Christ with just one sermon. He was anointed and commissioned for the work of the Lord. That’s what forgiveness can do to us. It gives us peace, freedom, and courage to do the will of God because we are now set free from the bondage and stronghold of the past. This is the life Judas missed just because he allowed himself to be consumed by his guilt.

If ever you feel guilty or ashamed for all the things that you have done or the things you didn’t do, God wants to tell you now that this is not the end of you. He knows your tears. He feels your fears. He wants you to be free from the dark nights you’ve been battling with, the weakening thoughts you’ve been fighting, and the relentless accusations and lies the enemy has been throwing at you. He wants you to be free from self-pity and He wants to restore your identity in Him. Yes, you might have been a failure to many, but there is a God who is more than willing to forgive you and give you the best life you could ever have.

With open arms, He offers you His love and if you wholeheartedly accept it, you will finally see yourself the way God sees you — a valuable possession. Once we encounter His love, we can finally let go of the thread that pulls us back to our past mistakes and move on to the future that God has prepared for us. He will give us the strength to move on and start anew. We have a purpose. God has a plan in our life, and He wants us to see and experience all the great things that He has for us.

Today is the day that the Lord has made.
This is the day that He will meet you, right where you are now, and tell you that you are forgiven, and will now be free from that heaviness you feel inside your heart.

When failure meets forgiveness, hope arises. Faith is being built. There is a new beginning, and a new life waiting for you at the end of the road. It’s time to forgive yourself this time.

It’s never too late to start again.